Breast Feeding Journey

Hello everyone! How was your holy week? I spent mine with my Euan. I missed spending time with him and not having to worry about waking up early and about house chores. I let go of all my worries and just enjoyed the time I have with my family. Oh how I missed sleeping late. Anyway I’d like to share about my breastfeeding journey. I am exclusively breastfeeding Euan and to be honest I hardly remember how it all began. I’d share as much as what I can recall. I didn’t start breastfeeding Euan after giving birth to him. I was so disappointed with the hospital because they didn’t inform me that they were going to feed my baby with formula. I was honestly thinking they would right away let him be nursed by me. When he came out I was waiting for them to place him on my chest as I thought that it was already the standard procedure. I waited and waited looking at Euan while he was being cleaned and I remember feeling very excited to touch him but they just let me kiss him after they finished and then I was wheeled in to the recovery room. I was out for hours and when I was finally awake and in my room my husband told me they asked him to buy him a formula milk. I was so disappointed and as soon as the nurse came in I asked her if I can breastfeed my baby. They did let me go to the nursery room and it was then did I was able to hold my so tiny baby. I didn’t know how to hold him much more have him latch. I was so scared to hold him but the nurse didn’t care he just gave him to me and then she went to her table doing whatever it was she was busy with. I let him latch on me but he won’t open his mouth and he was sleeping. I tried and tried and then for a second he finally caught my nipple and felt that he was sucking but then stopped and then he was again asleep. I asked the nurse if I was doing it correctly and how would i know if i have milk, but she just shrugged and said if he is sucking then that’s it. She didn’t even bother to check how I was latching him. My arms started to hurt from trying to hold him in the only position i know and so I told the nurse I will try again later because my wound started to hurt from the sitting. I expected for them to call me when my baby would need to feed but they never did. Whenever I would go to the nursery they would tell me that I will have to wait in my room and they will just call me. It was so heartbreaking for me that I couldn’t nurse my baby and I felt such a failure because i didn’t know if I had milk. I don’t know anything and I was never prepared for this. I was expecting that the nurse would aid me on this part so I didn’t really spent much research. I honestly thought that I’ll know what to do once he is out. I was wrong and I was so disappointed with myself because I should have attended that breastfeeding class.

When we were finally able to go home I had a friend who came to visit and i asked her what I should do. She thought me how i should lay my baby in my arms so he could latch properly. It was not that easy. I have watched several youtube videos but it was not as easy as it looked. My baby wont latch and I don’t know how I was going to hold him in a way that would be comfortable for us both. He was so tiny then and I was so terrified I might hurt him in the process. Until he got hungry from all our trying he cried so hard like we were hurting him and we didn’t know what to do. We took the formula milk we were able to take home from the hospital and gave Euan milk. I realized then that I didn’t have milk yet. I didn’t know what to do so I texted my doctor right away and she told me that I just let my baby latch on me and drink Natalac 2x day. The next day I was starting to feel stressed out because no matter what I do I have no sign of milk coming out. I was expecting my chest to feel full and hard. I still don’t know how to position Euan correctly so he could latch on me. I was starting to feel frustrated already and worried. I let him latch on me even though I know that we were both uncomfortable. I went to ask google and found some advise about not to feel stressed out, drink lots of fluid and think positive. So I relaxed the next day and drank lots of water and that afternoon my breast was starting to feel tender and I was starting to leak. Although we were still getting the hang on my baby latching  I was finally able to feed him after that. It didn’t went smoothly because I still didn’t know how to let him latch properly. My nipple were sore my goodness. There came a point that I would cry whenever he would feed and when I couldn’t take it anymore and I would pull him away. I didn’t have electric pump then so I used the manual pump a friend of mine gave. I had engorged breast. It hurt so bad I couldn’t move my upper body! I tried pumping but it didn’t relieved me from the pain i was feeling. Though I still have sore nipple I let my baby feed on me because I read that it’s the only way to treat engorged breast. It was so painful I had to scream. True enough it did solve my problem. After that I never let my sore nipple bother me. I just let him feed on me no matter how painful. I didn’t want anymore engorged breast after that. I think it went on for a month that I have to endure very sore nipple. My condition has improved after I learned how I would latch Euan properly. Then he would go through growth spurt and he would latch on me almost the whole night and my nipple would be sore again but eversince I am able to manage the pain without resorting to pain reliever.

When I got back to work it was hard for me at first to manage my pumping schedule because as soon as I got back i was loaded with task. The stress that came along with work affected my milk production. I remember going home with 11oz of milk only. But then as time went by I am finally able to make adjustment to suit my schedule. So before I would leave for work I would feed Euan at around 330am. My first pump schedule is 730am, second is 1130am and last pump at 230pm before I would go home. The maximum milk I was able to take home was 19oz. I find that eating lots of rice helps with my milk supply. I usually forget to drink Natalac and water but if I just eat properly I don’t encounter any problem at all. Euan usually consumes at around 15oz to 18oz of milk a day. As soon as I get home I let him directly feed on me. When we go out I bring with me a cover so that I can breastfeed in public if there would be no breastfeeding station available.

It has been 2 months since I got back to work and so far it is going well. I just hope that I don’t get any OT so that I won’t have to be away for too long from Euan, that is my only concern. I am so thankful that I am able to successfully breastfeed Euan because he really is healthy and I helps me bond with him especially now that I have gone back to work. I love looking at him as I hold him close. Breastfeeding also help me get enough rest especially at night because Euan sleeps more easily when he is sucking on my nipple. I co-sleep with him because it is the easiest and most convenient for us. Whenever he feels hungry even though he is still closing his eyes he just turn his head towards me as he starts to move his arms to grab my shirt and I would know that it is his signal that I feed him. I never have to get up nor does he have be disturb from his sleep.

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mega mall breastfeeding station

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pumping at work

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