I decided to post this topic to warn those are planning to get married that what happened to me is mostly to happen to them too. We planned on having a small wedding by small it means less number of guests this is because we are on a limited budget. We aimed to have 150 guests. From that we have to subtract the number to make room for the suppliers leaving us around 120 for family, relatives and friends. We allocated 20 for both E and I’s friends and the rest are for our family and relatives. From 20 it was difficult to choose from friends since we have quite a lot. I have my friends during elementary years, highschool, college, 1st job, 2nd job, 3rd job, current job, SFC family, mountaineering friends, and my fellow volunteers. Not to mention E’s friends whose number is a lot bigger than mine. We decided to invite friends who are still in contact with us, those who we are still able to communicate through the internet and text despite distance and years since we’ve seen each other. Majority who I have invited are from my company ncr and then E from college. If only we could have more rooms then we’d be able to invite all of our friends but again this is a small wedding and i thought that being a friend it would mean they’d understand and just be happy our wedding.
After the wedding it has reached me through one of our friend who was invited on our wedding that one of my friend from highschool/college was upset with me because I didn’t invite her and the rest of our classmates in highschool. What’s worse is she even said that I don’t know how to value friendship. That really broke my heart. I tried reaching to confirm if this was true and she won’t respond to my email and i know she’s online because she’s actively posting pictures on her facebook. I didn’t really even thought that she wanted to be on my wedding because the past years I have not heard from her. During highschool though we were at the same group I didn’t really feel I was a friend of hers because most of the time she’s only with me when she needed to copy assignment. During college although we were classmates I didn’t feel that I was anyone special to her. She’d come to my apartment only to copy an assignment or borrow a book. Or she’d sit beside me on our class because she would copy my answers during test. She never visits me to check if i’m ok. I even remember one time i was so sick to the point i was crying and she visited me at my apartment and she saw how i was suffering and yet all she could ask is where did you put your assignment so i can copy. I had to get up and find it for her despite my condition and then she just left. At times she would even take credit of my work. Everyone would brag how well she does in all our assignments. After all these years I have never felt she was a friend.
I’m sad because the person she was spreading this rumor to now believes how awful I am for forgetting friends. He believes her of course because during college i’m almost always seen with her. He confronted me about it because he thinks I was wrong.
The thing is I felt that she only wanted to be on our wedding because majority are of our invited college friends are close to her. She only wanted to be with them and not with me. I have never felt since highschool and college that I mattered to her. If she really was a friend she would just be happy and not think of things like that about me.
Right now I’m trying to get over this because I honestly am upset. I’ve been a nice person and yet bad things are still accused of me. But still we are not without real friends. I thank those friends that though we were not able to invite still sent our their well wishes and congratulations. Those friends who were really happy for us even though they weren’t there during our wedding. Thank you. You’ve no idea how much we appreciate it.
Has this ever happen to you? How did you handle it?