I’m exhausted! This again. I wish I could say I don’t want this anymore but this is just something that we need to face and go through over and over again. We have no choice. We can’t quit our jobs. It’s the start of the year and yet this is stressing as out. Our 2 yayas just decided to go home and leave us after being with us for just 2 months. Had it not just been recently that the yaya before these two left us without even saying goodbye and I’ve barely even got over it. The wound is still fresh and then here again a fresh new wound. I don’t know with my husband because he doesn’t usually look affected. He is usually calm about these kind of things. I am very much affected because i easily get attached that is why I don’t have much friends and i’m very careful in having people in my life.
I’m exhausted. I don’t know what else to do to make these yaya stay longer. I know that there are just things that we cannot control that is why some would decide to leave but some would just use you to temporarily fix their problem. This is our 6th yaya since we had a child. If I had a choice I would prefer to take care of the kids myself. It will save us all the stress and the heart ache and I’m very sure the kids are well taken care off. If daycare is not expensive I would have considered this but we can’t afford it.
This is my yaya history:
Yaya 1: The one that got bored
She’s 21 years old from Ormoc. She was very enthusiastic to work with us. There was a time when we canceled having her because she told us she will be going to manila with her boyfriend who is also looking for a job. I didn’t feel comfortable hiring someone who is in a relationship to be honest because it usually is the reason that they will not stay long and it would usually cause a problem when they fight. But she convince us very well that her love life will not get in the way of her work. She’s ok at first. we didn’t like that she is always taking selfies and would even take photos of Euan and post it on her facebook. And after 2 months she’s starting to spend more time with our land lady that sometimes it feels like she is working for her than with us. She is also not interested in learning to cook. I had to cook on sundays to prepare for her weekly consumption and then she can just heat it every day but we found out that she didn’t like eating heated food. I had to buy food everyday for her. She no longer seem to be happy with us. I can sensed it. I think she got bored and lonely and would rather be with her bf more ever since he found a job and an apartment. Finally on her 4th month with us she texted us that she couldn’t take care of Euan because he is too heavy that her back aches all the time. she however told us she would only leave us if we find a replacement and I appreciated what she did for us although it broke my heart because I know she love Euan and that’s something that’s very important to me.
Yaya 2: The one that got away
We were very lucky to have found her. She’s very hardworking and don’t need to be told of what to do. She also took care of Euan very well and love him. I like her because she enjoys being home all the time so we don’t worry if she ever gets bored. She don’t take advantage and she would even be the one to give us gifts. On my birthday she gave me a dress and during christmas she would also give us gifts. But even the best one still has to leave. I don’t feel angry but I feel that she really was the one who broke my heart most. It even took me a while to respond to her messages when she was already gone still tries to check on us but it was hard for me because I miss her and maybe even Euan. She really did took care of Euan and our family. She has to leave us when we moved to Cavite. Until now we still are friends. It took me a while to really move on and accept that we could never her back. I’m still thankful for the 1 and half year she spent with us.
Yaya 3: The one who does not enjoy kids
She is a relative of mine and I actually know her. But I’ve haven’t really seen her since I went to college and moved to Cebu. I really thought that it would work out with her because her mom used to be our yaya when were kids. We really love her. When I found out that her husband will be also coming to Manila to work at a shoe factory I already knew that it won’t be long and she’ll also leave. Still I took her and had hope that maybe with the way we would be treating her it would change her mind and also we don’t really have a choice because there was no one else we could find. When she started working with us I immediately compared her with yaya 2. She does not really take good care of the house and Euan. One time Euan had a huge bruise on his chin and I don’t buy her alibi. I wanted to fire her on that day Euan had the bruise but it was also the day that she told me she’d be leaving. I didn’t really felt my heart broken by this because I never really felt any connection with her.
Yaya 4: The one who left without saying goodbye
I didn’t really feel comfortable having her because she’s just 15 but then again we don’t have any choice. She was the one Yaya 3 gave to us as replacement. Although she is hardworking and I believe to have cared for Euan I didn’t feel comfortable having someone that young. At first we didn’t have a problem with her because the house is clean an Euan seem happy. We even let her use our ipad for facebook. It was then we found out from her Ninang that she’s been chatting with so many guys. We also found out she has been giving out important information about us like our full address and the plate number of our car. I wanted to fire her but thought that maybe she can change and decide to give her a chance. But then we are starting to notice that she is no longer happy and that she is getting bored. Maybe because I keep telling her that I didn’t want her to have bf that she just met on the internet and that I always keep telling her that she’s still a minor and that she needs to be careful.It’s also not easy to please her. We bring her with us when we go out but she does not speak and always looks sad. I wanted to let go of her but at that time we still couldn’t find a replacement. It had been very hard for us because she’s also been lying to us a lot but I was still waiting for someone to replace her. And then one weekend she told us she’d just go to the church to pray for her grandfather who she saw in her dream. she didn’t come home that night. I was scared because we thought something must have happened to her. When we check her room all her things have already been packed. We couldn’t contact her. The next morning she came home only to get her things. She broke my heart because I know Euan has grown fund of her. I wish she could have told us she don’t want to be with us anymore. Then we found out that the reason she left is because she is alreay living with someone, a construction worker in our village. Only 16 and she’s already living with someone. It was the hardest 2 weeks for us because we don’t have any replacement yet and i don’t have leaves yet because I’m new to our company. Good thing there were plenty of holidays on november. We had to take Euan to a daycare near our office because there was no one we know who would offer to take care of him while we wait for new yayas.
Yaya 5 and Yaya 6: The one who gave false hope
We decided to hire two yaya since there’ll be already two take care of. And also in case one leaves at least we still have one. We couldn’t find any problem with them. They are very hardworking and the important thing is they get along very well. The house is clean and Euan is well taken care of and they can cook delicious meals. They also don’t need to be told of what to do. Although to be honest my instinct told me about yaya 5 that she might stay long with us because she has 3 kids and I know she must miss them. But still we took what is available to us on that time. I thought we were getting on just fine. We’ve already establish some routines and then just the other day yaya 5 just told me casually that her kids need her. That the one who promised to take care of them, her live in partner, decided to leave because of misunderstanding with her family and kids. She had no choice but to go back home. Yaya 6 i never thought she’d also be going home. I was shocked when she told me that she only came because of yaya 5. She wouldn’t even be here if it were not for her. I begged her to stay but there’s no way she’d be convince. My heart again is broken because Euan seem to really enjoy their company. I just gave birth and I’m soon going back to work. If we can’t find replacement before feb 15 I’m not sure how we are going to take care of things. I’m suppose to be taking it easy for now. There’s only a few days left before they’d leave and for me to go back to work. I couldn’t be even angry with yaya 5 because I’m also a mom and I’m suppose to understand her but I can’t help it. I feel like they’ve given me this false hope. I wish we knew earlier so that we could have more time to find someone else. I don’t know. I feel like we are bad people. Maybe we don’t give enough? I don’t know what else there is to do. I feel like we’ve already exhausted every ideas on how to make them stay. I really don’t want to go through this anymore. how many times does my heart have to get broken?
I know my kids won’t be this be dependent forever. I know that this problem won’t be forever but having to endure this for I don’t know how much more years I just don’t know what it will do to the way I look at people. I just wish I could still find more hope and patience.